cancer changes everything
he's in remission but there is still grief. i mourn the life we had before cancer. i miss being carefree 20 year olds. the past year has been chemo, hospital stays, heartache, growing pains, and uncertainty. we've had to grow up so fast. the future is so much scarier than it was before. will the cancer come back? will we be able to have biological children? there is no way of knowing, and as hard as i try to accept that, the fear is still there. through therapy i've been able to come to terms with the past and the present, acceptance is such a powerful mindset. i still fear the future though. i think about going through all of this pain again and it scares me. what if i get cancer too? what if one of my parents gets cancer? anything feels possible now and that is both beautiful and terrifying. a year ago i was a completely different person. my perspectives on love, health, relationships, and life have all shifted. we've grown so much closer while going through this. we've grieved together. we've had conversations i never anticipated at this age. cancer changes everything.